‘Sometimes you just have to walk away’
I’ve done business with people in South Korea and Japan for four years.
Overtime, I picked up on a lot of social norms and got a better understanding of what I was dealing with.
Many times, there will be people that are either inexperienced in dealing with foreigners.
You’ll even deal with people that are so iron-clad into their culture, they’re willing to go out to show who’s the boss.
Whether you’re doing business or in a relationship, the ability to walk away is a superpower many don’t realize they have.
Today, it became clear I had that power all along. Of course, it didn’t come as easy.
Walking away is a super power.
Simply put: when you’re not willing to put up with disrespect, it gives others the impression that you’re not someone others should treat lightly.
Walking away keeps power in your favor.
Current New Japan Pro Wrestling wrestler Tetsuya Naito did exactly this.
In 2018, he was offered a deal to join the WWE.
Allegedly, not even two minutes into the meeting, he could tell the deal was going to be bad so he just walked away.
In 2016, I attempted to work with a model and put her on my livestream.
Within a few minutes of our meeting, she liked me and how I looked so she gave me her manager’s contact info.
After some back and forth, she and I reached an agreement and we were ready to go.
Then I got an e-mail from her manager to meet him in person.
I went to his office in Shibuya, Tokyo and went through the basic formalities.
I could tell we would get along because he understood American culture and even played football at an American university!
How he transitioned from sports to what he was doing, to this day, still blows my mind.
Then again, his situation reminded me of the show Ballers so it isn’t THAT far off.
This is where things went bad
As we talked about business, he starts off the conversation by telling me his boss wasn’t fond of my concept.
Prior to our talk, they were keen on the idea.
Whatever happened between our last meeting and this moment must have made them say, “no, this won’t do.”
I wasn’t sure if they were testing me but to be given a frank opinion like that was very un-Japanese.
In addition, they were going to charge 50,000 yen (about $500 USD) for “17 minutes”
Previously, we agreed to two hours.
At that time, I SHOULD have walked away from that meeting.
I can accept criticism but that opinion didn’t sit well with me.
In addition, changing the price at a whim and attempting to lowball me to see if I would take the bait really should have done the trick.
In the end, I reacted like a child when they criticized me.
Not wearing a suit did me zero favors.
While these things are critical to your success in Japan (or anywhere), you’re better off having respect for yourself.
Walking away when the deal just isn’t good enough for you or who you’re working with is key.
Businessmen greatly respect someone with power.
Give off a presence of someone with respect, or they will treat you with contempt.
That moment forced me to study negotiation, what I need to say in a meeting, and when to say it.
There have been many bumps in the road while learning this but they have been critical in my success today.
One thing I learned in every meeting, seminar, and consultation was this: walk away.
After the coaching I received, the previous relationships going south made sense.
We lost mutual respect and they had other plans.
If anyone you’re looking to be in a relationship with anyone (professionally or personally), show enough respect for yourself.
Be that one person no one would be willing to think they can be disrespectful to.
The best example I can think of when it comes to this is Bishop T.D. Jakes time on The Breakfast Club radio show.
Bishop Jakes made an appearance after the death of Kobe Bryant.
On this episode, the hosts were not joking or cursing like they normally do.
Even if Kobe hadn’t met his untimely death, the radio hosts still wouldn’t have cursed in the Bishop’s presence.
Bishop had enough respect for himself to not join in their foolishness.
The hosts had enough respect for Bishop to not have him do anything he wouldn’t appreciate.
Relationships boil down to respect.
If no one is willing to give it or show it, it’s pointless to continue any further engagements.
The sooner you have respect for yourself, the more time you can save.
Commanding respect from others will make them respect you.
There’s nothing wrong with walking away from something that doesn’t seem right.
Your gut is your best friend.
If you’re ready to walk away from wherever you’re at, I have a course that’ll teach you how.
Peace & love!